A core human desire we all want to feel. To be seen. To be known. To be heard. To know that we matter. To know that our gifts, talents, skills, knowledge, wisdom…are being used for the greater good of the human experience. To be on path and on purpose. We yearn for the expression of Greatness in our lives and in our work and to know that we have made a difference in the world.
And yet we walk around with fraud complexes and worthiness wounds cloaked in beliefs like, “I won’t be able to make a living at it,” “People won’t pay that much for what I do” or “I can’t get out and speak. I’m not an expert.”
As each child is born, can you imagine God tattooing each emerging soul with “worthy…worthy…worthy…nope, this one is a fraud…nope, this one is too big for her britches… this one is definitely unworthy…fraud…? Of course not! We are born as pure potential, worthy and deserving of the abundance, love and meaning life has to offer.
So what do we do with that old festering wound that never seems to go away? How do we let that Greatness out so we can experience the sense of significance we long for? Ah, the 6 million dollar question!
The answer isn’t a magic pill or a 5 step process guaranteed to heal it forever. It’s more like a practice that you get better and better at over time. But as coach and purveyor of practical wisdom that I am, I do have some suggestions for ways to soothe the sting of your worthiness wound and bring you back to a state of resourcefulness and courage.
The basic gist is this…There is stuff you can do on the outside and there are practices you can do on the inside to build your belief in yourself and restore your feeling of worth.
There are gobs of healing modalities out there that are helpful. But let’s be honest. There’s a part of us that wants PROOF of our worthiness. We need external validation and good dose of self-acknowledgement to recognize and own our amazingness.
You may choose to take this assignment on as a discovery process over the next week doing a little bit each day or cozy up for a one or two session deep dive. Do what works for you.
This practice is about telling yourself the truth of how magnificent you are. It’s about finding evidence of your brilliance and using it to boost your faith and confidence in yourself.
You have my full permission and blessing to boost your ego, toot your horn and sing your own praises! There are only two rules for doing this exercise.
Rule #1, “Yeah, but…” is not permitted. Rule #2, Don’t downplay anything.
Part 1: Take Inventory
First, for each decade of your life, even back to childhood, do a thorough inventory of all the accomplishments, achievements, awards, recognition you’ve ever received from external sources. Leave no stone unturned.
For example, when I was in high school I was named Captain of the gymnastics team and earned awards for high place scores and trophies from my team mates for “Most Determined” and “Most Improved.” (I’ll say more about that in a moment.)
Next, document as many of the positive and courageous things you did and/or were naturally good at. It will reveal a great deal about your character, strengths and value you offer the world and remind you that YOU did these things, that you are worthy and that you are already significant and poised to expand even more.
Part 2: Reveal the Value
From what you did above, pick three to five occasions that hold particular meaning for you. For each one, explore and acknowledge the value they bring to your life and business right now.
In the case of my gymnastics success – I can acknowledge that I have a penchant for moving away from mediocrity and toward excellence for myself, my clients and my teams. Remembering this and bringing it forward in my consciousness and even in my marketing helps to shrink my fraud wound. I can say, “I did that. That’s my proof and that quality is still part of me.”
Give yourself this gift. Wrap yourself up in a blanket of self-love so you can stay the course and shine your light.
Shoot me an email and let me know what you discover about yourself. I want to know what’s in your heart. firstname.lastname@example.org